Stressful days and learning to look after myself
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I wasn’t sure about writing this post. My blog is all about how to be a grown-up, it’s about how to handle everything life throws at you. Surely, therefore, I need to write about how my life is totally together?
But, to be honest, the blogs I like to read are the ones where the bloggers seem human.
So here’s a little post about me and how I’ve been doing.
I’ve been overcommitting recently.
Last week I had no less than three late night social events. I’m away (heading north!) this weekend. And I’m away (heading to Wales!) the weekend after.
It feels great to have so many friends. Having friends is important. Valuable. Healthy.
Exhausting myself is less so.
My job is high-pressure at the moment. I run a fairly large website (aka millions of visits a year), and deployments are not always straightforward. We had a deployment today. Everything was fine, but I get nervous beforehand, and stress comes at me.
I’m out socialising again tonight.
A year ago, this was an impossible dream. I was deep in a depressive spell, and didn’t believe I could ever make any friends, and that the ones I had secretly hated me. My job was much the same as it is now, except I was convinced I couldn’t do it and that I’d quickly get found out and fired.
Honestly, I’m proud of how far I’ve come. My mindset has changed. I am good at my job, and I love that my friends are there for me and we have such great fun together.
But, in some ways, I’m trying to do too much. Now that I have energy and motivation I am trying to DO ALL THE THINGS and SEE ALL THE PEOPLE.
And it’s taking a toll. My routines are slipping. My sleep is suffering. I’m not eating as well as I was.
There are a lot of things I want to do. Travel the world, build a successful blog, connect to the people that matter. Help people, be a good person, make a difference.
And I want to hang out with my friends. They are really important to me, and have kept me grounded and alive.
But I don’t have to do everything or see everyone right now.
I need to try and remember that.
And that it’s okay to take a weekend for myself once in a while.
I don’t know what the right balance is. I’m still figuring it out.
Thanks for reading xx