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I have a single weekend left in the USA. These three months have passed quickly and strangely. There were difficult personal things to deal with, as my husband dealt with the sickness and then death of his father.
And I was burned out from two long years of stress, anxiety, bad news.
There is no doubt that I was exhausted. When I first arrived I felt like I couldn’t get enough sleep, I would wake late, feeling heavy and slow. I strove to integrate routines and actions; walking with a dog, studying python, reading books, doing yoga and job hunting. But sometimes I worried, was I broken? Permanently?
I have always been a hard-worker, but it felt like I was no longer capable of more than the bare minimum. Boredom was a stranger to me, I was quite happy doing nothing, thinking nothing. I had arrived with grand goals of using this time to write huge amounts of content for this blog, to build a freelance business, to become an expert python developer, to get into the best shape of my life… but in the end my body refused to yield to my intentions and mostly? I slept. And read.
Now, however, I am waking up naturally. My body has let go of it’s unyielding determination to rest and I feel those stirs of creativity, desire, interest. I’m being cautious and slow. Yesterday I went to a family outing, and enjoyed myself instead of getting overwhelmed. My job search feels like its going positively, and I’m hopeful to secure the right offer for the right job soon. But even if I don’t, I have learned a lot about myself, what I value, what I’m looking for.
Here’s to the power of rest.